Darkness and Light

Sometimes life takes us in a direction we do not want to go.  Backwards.  In fact, it probably happens more often than any of us would like.  And when we feel this shift where we start heading in the wrong direction, we see our goals and dreams slipping away from our grasp.  We can actually feel them disappearing.  The momentum builds as we pile additional burdens on our shoulders, like negative feelings, dispair, and helplessness. 

The burdnen or obstacle soon becomes not just a thing, but a place.  A dark and lonely place.  We dwell on the darkeness that is approaching.  It is all we think about. It consumes us. Suddenly we are not just slowly creeping backwards, but running downhill, backwards, at full force into blackness with our eyes closed tight, knowing that we are losing our way, but unable to focus on anything else.

We get lost. 

We fall.

But we created this place, and we must find the way out.

And we must learn that when darkness appraches, we must face whatever comes our way and be strong. 
We must open our eyes.

For if we do not open our eyes, how will we see the light that will guide us through our darkest hours?

Reflections

 

The untimely death of legendary superstar Michael Jackson has prompted me to return.  It doesn't seem right to mention it on my other blog, but I feel like I have to say something.  No, I didn't know him, never met him or anything like that.  But I am sorry to hear that the King of Pop is no more.  The entire world is in mourning over such a great loss.

Another Hollywood star Farrah Fawcett lost her battle with cancer this morning.  I can relate to her passing a little more because my own mother lost her life to cancer.  Ed McMahon died the other day.  My highschool prom date was killed in a motorcycle accident last week.  I haven't seen him in years but I was deeply saddened to learn of his death.  A few months ago a good friend of mine lost thier unborn child.  All of this senseless tragedy is suffocating.

Sometimes it is difficult to look on the bright side, even on a good day.  So many things are taken for granted, and it takes something so cruel and incomprehensible to jolt us into reality.  WAKE UP!  Live for the moment.  Cherish the time you spend with loved ones.  In just an instant it can all be taken away and can never be given back.  

Go and find someone to hug right now. Tell someone you love them.  May we all find peace and happiness before it is too late.

Where is Paradise?

We've been away from our little island paradise for a month now.  The warm, lazy sea breeze and sandy beaches have been replaced by crisp, foggy mornings and concrete sidewalks with red and golden leaves swirling lazily in puddles of rain water.

I have finally come to realize that Paradise doesn't have to be just one physical location.  It can be anywhere  that the mind, body and soul are in harmonious symphony.  I am there when I feel the grains of white sand in my fingertips and taste the salt of the turquoise sea.  I am also there when I am holding Naimah's soft chubby hand as we sit on a wooden bench at the park, watching the ducks bob their little heads in the pond in search of a snack.  Physically, those locations are 5929 kilometres apart, but somehow they take my spirit to the same place...Paradise.

Matt Damon & Wyclef Jean help victims of Hurricane Ike

Hurricane Ike has left a path of destruction in Haiti, the nation that shares the island of Hispanola with the Dominican Republic.

Celebrities Wyclef Jean and Matt Damon arrived to help hand out food to the people, many of whose homes were destroyed by flooding.  They are encouraging more people to help the United Nations raise more than US$100 million for an estimated 800,000 Haitians in need of aid.  Read the full story here.

It's Hurricane Season

Keep an eye on the latest storm info at http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/.

Cocos

Can't reach the top shelf? No problem!

Update

The National Hurrican Center is monitoring a possible tropical storm heading this way.  Last night there was thunder and lightning, which would not have disturbed my sleep too much except that the neighbor's car alarm kept going off.  When it finally finished several minutes of honking and sirens, it started all over again.  This happened several times during the night.  I wonder if the neighbor took some kind of secret pleasure in keeping us all awake.  Surely he could not have slept through all that noise.

We woke up to intermittent electricity and heavy rain.  I walked with Naimah to the plaza, an ordeal in and of itself.  Firstly, the only shoes I brought are flip-flops, which do not work well when wet.  Secondly, the street was flooded in several areas, which forced me to walk in the middle of the road carrying Naimah and my computer.  The drivers in both directions were quite curteous though, passing us slowly and allowing us as much room as possible.

Now we are sitting at a cozy restaurant in the plaza, having salad and fries, and finally catching up on emails and blogs. Naimah is having a nap, and I finally have a few minutes to myself.  Ahhh, peace in paradise...

Que Sera, Sera

It always happens when you are away for a while.  Things have changed.  They happen without asking for our approval, or advice.  I wonder why we always wish things would go back to the way used to be.  That way was new and different once upon a time.  Change will happen whether we like it or not.  Better to learn to like it than to live wistully in the past, not able to appreciate the new and wonderful things that are in front of us.

The beach at my beloved villa is not the same as it once was.  Buildings have burned down, now just a shell of what they once were.  The road is blocked off and there is a new path to the beach.  It is a nice path, but not the one I used to walk upon.  I keep reminding myself that it is a nice path, and I appreciate the hard work that went into making it.  Each tile handlaid by someone's father or brother, or son.

The cuban masion that I was in love with has been seized by the FDA and is closed up and empty.  The big plasma tv at their pool bar is gone.  There will be no more pool parties there.  Now I am glad that I didn't live there.  Although I still wish I had been invited to one of thier parties.

Now it is time to make new memories here.  Naimah is very curious about her new surroundings.  There are sounds she has never heard before, new voices and humid temperatures.  For her, nothing has changed.  She was just a few months in the womb when we were last here.  Everything is new and exciting, as it should be.

On Top Of Cloud 9

3 More Sleeps!

Just a quick note to say that we are returning to the Dominican Republic this weekend!  I am very excited to return to the turquoise waters and palm trees, and introduce Naimah to her Caribbean heritage.  I'm not sure what my internet situation will be like there but I will try to update the blog as much as possible.

The Journey Continues...

I can hear the Caribbean shores calling my name.  It seems so far away, and yet it is always with me in my heart and my mind, and in the face of Naimah.  Every time I look at her I am taken back to the magical place that I am connected to within my soul.  Her passport is on its way and soon, very soon we will be back in our little tropical paradise.  My happy yellow villa (pictured here) is now home to someone else, but that is okay.  I hope they too are building memories there that they will look back on with a smile one day.

9 sunsets from a different shore

Well, it's not the Caribbean, but I finally got that photo of a tropical sunset that I have been longing for. Hawai'i is such a beautiful place, I am so glad I took the chance to go there for a little vacation before winter sets in and turns my beach bunny into a snow bunny.

I got some really great abstract photos to add to my collection, and I'm still waiting to see how my underwater photos turned out. There was a big turtle within ams reach that I hope I got at least one good picture of.

We spent 9 days in O'ahu, and for half of it we rented a car and explored as much of the island as we could. It is amazing what you find when you leave the tourist spots behind and make your way over to the places that the locals go. There are some really cute surfer villages on the north side of the island. And to my surprise, lots of organic and vegetarian foods. I tried something new at a sushi restaurant: fermented soybean rolls. Those didn't make it very far before they came right back up...but at least I tried them and I can laugh about it now. Or am I gagging?

I would love to go and see another Hawai'ian island one day, but I'm pretty sure I'll end up back in the Caribbean again before that happens. But then again, you just never know...

Moving On

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support while I was living in the Caribbean. I have started a new blog, I hope you enjoy it as much as you did this one! Please click here to go to my new blog.

xoxo
janet

Veni Vidi...

My Facebook fortune cookie says "There are no endings, just new beginings." I have been thinking about what this means for several days. I know what it means, but I guess I'm trying to figure out what it means to me.

There are so many crossroads that we come to in life, where we have to make a decision. And sometimes we hesitate on making any decision at all because it means things will change. We get used to the way things are, whether we like what it is or not. Our job, our relationships, our financial situation. We just keep on keeping on, because we don't want to take a risk that changing things might make everything worse.

But what if things could be better? We will never know unless we take that chance. Make a move in a new direction; forge a path for a new beginning.

I chose to make a new beginning for myself by moving here to the Caribbean. It meant saying goodbye to my family and friends, I had to sell my house and car...it wasn't an ending though. Those things had to be done in order to make way for my new beginning.

And now, it is time for more new beginnings. I have made some more decisions. Not easy to make decisions, like what to wear, or what to eat. Big decisions.

I'm putting the Caribbean chapter of my life on hold and returning to Vancouver.

The powers that be have spoken, and I know that I have to make way for what is yet to come. Because now it's not just me that I am making decisions for.

I think the seasons reversed in the northern hemisphere!

After 3 long flights, I made it back to Vancouver. I thought two weeks would be enough time to do what I came to do, but after three days I can already tell it isn't enough. Back to the rushing around, never enough hours in one day...so many people to see, and not enough time to see them. Oh, and the jet lag isn't helping. By 9pm, I'm done for the night. I can barely keep my eyes open. And I'm up by 6am every day. Wide awake. Ready to go somewhere.

So here's my suggestion. If you want to hang out while I'm here, meet me for breakfast :)

But really, I'm having a good time so far, except for the cold. I'm really cold. Freezing. And it's not my imagination. My uncle told me it snowed on the connector yesterday?!?!? Hello, it's almost JULY!!! Something is definately not right with that. As I type this, I am wishing I had some mittens, 'cuz my fingers are numb. Is anyone else wondering what happened to the weather here?

The List

I'm going to take a little vacation soon, to Vancouver. Lots of people have been asking what I want to do while I'm there. I started making a list, and realized that some of these things seem small and trivial. Things I used to take for granted. So here's my list, in no particular order:

* Watch a movie in a theatre

* Eat Japanese & Thai food

* Hug my Dad

* Drive on roads where the traffic lights always have electricity

* Look at the mountains in the distance

* Go shopping with the girls

* Listen to my Grandma's stories

* Talk on a land line telephone

* Cook some tofu (and eat it)

* Drink water from the tap

* Use my debit card to buy something (I hope I remember the code!)

* Walk down the street and not see any garbage or litter anywhere

* Use a public restroom that actually has a toilet seat, paper, soap and water. I have yet to find one here that meets these criteria. Lucky to see just one of these things here in any given place!

* See my friends

* Do something meaningful on Canada Day.

There it is. The list. Just a few things. But I will not define my visit by doing these things. If I don't get to do some of them, I'm not going to stomp my feet and have a hissy fit, and say that my vacation sucked. They are just things that I would like to do. I am fortunate enough to have done them all before. And if I have the opportunity to do them again, I will.

Jellyfish

One of my favorite places to hang out. On the beach they have canvas covered futon beds, where you can lay down and sip your piña colada while watching the boats in the water. There are two parrots that live in Jellyfish, they whistle at you as you walk by, and if you're lucky, they will talk to you. There is no rush here, to make you eat and drink fast, and shove you out the door with the check. No matter how busy it is. The waiter is there when you need him, and gone when you don't. I spent five hours here with my friends yesterday, just hanging out...listening to their funky european club music, swimming, talking, sunbathing, eating, drinking, laughing...it was a perfect day.

Dia De Madres

Mother's Day happens a bit later here than it does where I come from. And it seemed much more festive, with balloons everywhere, and ribbons and streamers...

But when your mother is no longer here, sometimes these festivities aren't really what you feel like partaking in. So instead, a friend of mine who also lost his mother, took me to a beautiful place where we could just be in silence, and take some time to reflect on life, and thoughts, and love...

When Life Hands You Limons...Can You Make...Limonade?

Long live limons! Actually, I think the correct plural spelling would be limónes in spanish, but who am I to say? I just live here...and on a hot day, doesn't a refreshing glass of limonade sound fantastic? If I really thought about how much work it would be to make it, I might have thought twice. I saw the all-in-one juicer jug at the supermarket today, and had what I thought would be a great idea. So I stuffed a bunch of limons into a bag, paid for my purchase and raced home.

After juicing the first limon, I was about to call it quits. It's too hot for manual labour today. I could fill the jug with sweat faster than with limon juice. But after a 20 minute rest, I did a few more limons...took another break, and so on.

By the time I was more than halfway through all the fruit, I had barely one cup of liquid. Soooo discouraging. But I kept going, and fought a raging war with the ants while I was at it. "IT'S MY FRUIT!!!!" I shouted to them. I made a line of cornmeal around my workspace as I heard that ants will take it home and try to eat it, and die. Well, we'll see about that, but it did manage to keep them away from my juice...for a while.

I finished squeezing the last limon just as the ants conquered the Great Wall of Cornmeal. I transferred the jug into safe territory (the fridge) and left it there for a few hours to chill. The ants scuffled around in confusion wondering where it went. HAH!

Much later, with a little bit of purified water and stevia, the limonade was delicious! But I will say, now that I have done this once...the next time I visit Canada, the first thing that is going into my suitcase is the Juicy Juicer.